Rest In Peace Richard Adams

May was a bad month. I already spoke of this in my last post. It gets worse. I mentioned before that some of my friends were going thru personal tragedies that put my issues into perspective. Yes, my issues can be dealt with and I will live on. My friend Richard was not so lucky. Richard passed away early this morning after a five week battle with stomach cancer. His new bride (and one of my best friends) will be forever changed after this.

Here is a recap:
Richard went into the hospital on Cinco De Mayo (May 5th) with swollen and sore legs. An ultrasound revealed blood clots in his legs as the cause of the pain. The Doctors immediately put him on blood thinners and inserted a screen like thingy into his leg to catch any clots that might travel to the brain. (Blood clots to the brain can cause strokes or immediate death.) The following day, they did more tests and found blood clots in his lungs as well. More investigating revealed that the blood clots are coming from a tumor in his stomach. His diagnosis on 5/7/2010 was this: stomach cancer, with a gastric bleed, already spreading to his esophagus, non-operable, 7 months to live.

Richard has spent the last 5 weeks in the battle for his life. His only real course for treatment was to begin aggressive chemotherapy right away and potentially stop more spreading while hopefully shrinking the tumor. Unfortunately he never actually got to receive any treatment for the cancer because the blood clots became the enemy. Complications with blood clots led to several stays in the hospital and several minor strokes. The result of the strokes made for a body that wasn’t strong enough to survive chemotherapy. His new choices were:
a.) Go on blood thinners to prevent more blood clots. The risk being a fatal hemorrhage in his stomach or brain.
b.) Stay off blood thinners. The risk being that eventually a blood clot will hit his brain or some other organ and be the cause of his death.
Either way, his life expectancy was now 2 weeks to 2 months.

Richard chose option A in order to give him more time with his girlfriend and family. They had planned to get married "someday" and the new diagnosis meant things had changed, time was of the essence. They planned a wedding for 5 days later. During this time, Richards blood levels would need to be maintained. With a gastric bleed AND blood thinners, he was going to lose blood and would need to have transfusions to keep his blood levels up.

On Saturday May 29th, Richard and Staci were married at their home in Woodinville. It was as beautiful of a ceremony as it could be given the circumstances. A ton of Richards friends showed up and it was a full house. It was a bittersweet mix of emotion: happy, sad, happy, sad.

On Sunday after the wedding, Richard was back in the hospital for more blood transfusions. This seemed to stable him for the week. Richard even made it to the Sounders game that Saturday! Richard and Staci are season ticket holders for the Sounders in a suite. Luckily, Staci was able to take Richard to the match and he sat in his wheelchair for the whole game. He was so excited to be there! Soccer was just one of Richards passions. So it’s very fitting that he died today, the day of World Cup.

By Monday of this week, Richard was vomiting blood and taken back to the ER in an ambulance. The doctors had determined that he was losing too much blood internally being on the blood thinners. They took him off the blood thinners and it was only a matter of days before his body was full of clots. The clots were causing strokes and because of those, he basically lost all body function and was mostly unconscience. On Thursday, Staci had to make the heart wrenching decision to take him off all life support and IV’s (food/water). This was in accordance to his living will directives and she wanted to honor those wishes. It’s what needed to happen, but it’s a terrible thing to watch a loved one slowly die. Staci had to be strong and unselfish at this point and I commend her bravery.

On Friday, I got to spend most of the day with Richard, Staci, Richards mom and sister in the hospital. I was able to see him, say good bye and let him know that we would all take care of Staci and not to worry. I stayed with them thru the transfer from Overlake Hospital to the Evergreen Hospital’s Hospice Care Center. The new facility was beautiful, serene and lovely. The anticipation was that he would be there only a few days. Honestly, I am relieved it didn’t take even that long. For all their sakes. Richard was able to let go on June 12, 2010 at 5:30AM.

Please keep Staci in your hearts and minds in the coming weeks/months. This is going to be a difficult time for her. Peace and Love!

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." -- Gilda Radner